Resentment At Work: How To Deal With It

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Are you dealing with resentment at work? On Monday morning your supervisor walks by, and your belly turns. Your heart rate increases and the veins around your temple pops. You remember the scathing critic of your proposals in the last meeting as he or she passes by.

To be precise, in your opinion, this supervisor may have single-handedly cost you a major professional success.

Or

The thought of sitting with a particular co-worker at lunchtime is not an option because this person rudely interrupts you in meetings all the time. You can't stand the thought of associating with this person. You have feelings of resentment towards this person.

Even though you are not to personalize episodes of criticism or unpleasantness, sometimes things that happen to you at work hit you hard in the gut, and it leads to resentment, a strong emotion that affects your entire being.

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According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, resentment is a feeling of persistent ill will at something you regard as being wrong.  It is a strong emotion.

The Problem With Resentment At Work.

It Affects How You Think.

Resentment is a feeling, a persistently ill will feeling. You cannot perform optimally if you have strong negative feelings with a co-worker or supervisor you see every day.Your ability to execute your skills and make decisions as a professional is impaired if you harbor resentment at work. Research has shown that resentment compromises the efficiency of your cognitive reasoning. 

As a professional, you don't want to struggle with feelings of resentment at work because it changes the way you reason and your ability to perform optimally. It also affects the way people think about you.

Your ability to execute your skills and make decisions as a professional is impaired if you harbor feelings of resentment at work.

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It Affects Your Professional Network

Think about it, would you want to collaborate with someone you resent? Many have quit their jobs unplanned because they resent someone and many others have lost out on great opportunities for the same reason as well. It affects the connections you have at work that will lead to career advancement.

Your friends at work, who you think understand how you feel may avoid you or may avoid recommending you because they don't want to be associated with such negativity. They don't want to be associated with a resentful co-worker neither would you.

If you decide to quit your job, how many people will be willing to write you a glowing reference? The talk around your professional world would be your character and attitude. They would always remember how you were unable to manage difficult circumstances. 

If you have strong feelings, you can't hide it. Resentment is such a strong negative feeling that it becomes obvious when the source of those feelings is around you. Not only will the person perceive your displeasure, other people would notice it as well.

Body language is a large component of communication so even if you avoid verbal confrontations, your non-verbal communication will scream how you feel. Others may then interpret your behavior negatively and pass you up for promotions and other opportunities when they arise. 

It Affects Your Health

Prolonged anger and resentment can lead to health issues. Resentment at work or anywhere else can impact your health and well-being. You are more likely to experience increased stress and all other stress-related problems. Your body is a system. If something affects one aspect of your system, it will have an impact on the entire system.- your body. 

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How to Let Go Of Resentment

So what do you do when you are dealing with resentment at work? Releasing resentment is not only good for your mental health but also important if you are to perform at a high level as a professional.

The first thing you should know is that you will be offended at work either intentionally or unintentionally. Therefore be prepared for it so don't be surprised when it happens. Will it hurt? Yes. Will it make you angry? Yes. Should stay angry? NO! Don't let your anger turn to resentment. It's just not worth it. Below are 5 powerful tips to help you deal with resentment

1. Be Prepared and Have Realistic Expectations. 

The first thing you should know is that you will be offended at work either intentionally or unintentionally. It's only realistic to expect that someone is likely to make you upset, it's life.  

Therefore be prepared to be offended so you would not surprised when it happens. Will it hurt? Yes. Will it make you angry? Yes. Should stay angry? NO! Don't let your anger turn to resentment. It's just not worth it.  

Also, it would be a good idea to explore whether there's some positive perspective on what the offending person is communicating. 

2. Don't Wait For Apologies.

Don't wait for an apology or an acknowledgment of fault. In most cases, the offending party is unaware of how you feel or don't care about how you feel. If there is the opportunity to address what happened, then be professional about it.

3. Recognize potential problem scenarios.

Recognize those situations that cause your anger or any negative emotional response,  and plan how to manage them. You want to take back control of those situations. Know how you can preempt what makes you angry and how you can take charge of your response to those situations. You may want to identify how to challenge the individual based on facts and research, Remember, you want to keep it professional at all times.

4. Learn The Art Of Communication.

Learn the art of communication when in business meetings and presentations. Understand the language of your audience. You should know how to present and defend your case as the expert.  Learn how to push back and stand your ground while maintaining your professionalism.

You can also explore if there's some positive perspective by asking for clarifications or follow up questions to understand what the offending party is trying to accomplish.  

5. Let It Go.

Finally, let go of the anger and the resentment you feel. In its place have a plan to manage any situation that may make you feel resentful.

Forgive whoever has treated you unfairly not only because your career may depend on it but also because your health depends on it according to an article by John Hopkins Medicine.  The ultimate benefits of forgiving the offender are the freedom it gives you from the offender and the inner strength you gain from overcoming the negative effect of the person's actions.

Last Word

Harboring feelings of resentment without taking smart actions would not yield the result you want. So, as you let go of the anger and resentment, be proactive to work on the things that would help you stand up for yourself and create healthy boundaries so that you won't be a victim anymore


Feelings (of resentment) without taking smart actions would not yield the result you want.


When you are resentful, you are giving another person the power to dictate your feelings. You allow yourself to become a victim. Take charge of your work life and be the expert they need. Don't allow resentment hold you captive and impair your ability to remain professional and all the other great things you have to offer.

Hello, I'm Oyinkan Akinmade, a Confidence Coach and a Workplace Strategist with a passion for helping individuals achieve their full potential and leaders create great workplaces through confidence, communication, and leadership training. Feel free to connect with me on LinkedIn at Oyinkan Akinmade

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  1. And how do you manage anger n resentment towards the immediate superior who is openly stealing company money by submitting false expenses? The person orders gifts from vendors at triple price; goes for personal meals and claims as business lunch/ dinner. Everyone knows but no one speaks up for fear of losing one’s job. How can A Person make or break someone’s career ? It is no wonder so many companies go bust because of your scaremongering sermons! It is because the honest people are too scared to speak up and the ‘superior’ thrives on this fear.

    1. It can be a tricky situation when dealing with people who have power over you. It may be helpful to learn to position yourself as the go-to expert in your field if possible in other to exert some influence. Look at all options available to you and make a decision on what your best would be. As bad as the situation may be, don’t allow your emotions to run ahead of you. You make better decisions when you allow logical reasoning to guide your emotions to make decisions.

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